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June 30, 2014 / notxkcd

not xkcd 100 – Transformers: Age of Extinction movie review

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Saw this on Sunday. Don’t remember much from the first three movies, but Optimus Prime sure seemed plenty more bad-ass in this one! While we’re on the subject of movie reviews, I personally believe that The Transformers: The Movie (released in 1986) was the best Transformers to date! In fact, check out the trailer. One or two of the actors who voice the characters may surprise you!

Transcript:

1st Person: Have you read the reviews of Transformers 4?

2nd Person: Nope.

1st Person: The critics do not appear to be pleased.

2nd Person: Do tell.

1st Person: Well, over at The Times, they start off by referring to it as the fourth in an exhausting series. Heh. And that the franchise seems like the most badly and cynically commercial calculation imaginable. Geez, you’d think that they were talking about the invasion of Iraq or something.

2nd Person: The might as well be. Transformer films are expensive, brutal, violent and senseless. Total shock and awe on the big screen. Can you imagine what the World would be like if Michael Bay was God?

1st Person: Hmm…Michael Bay as God. Let’s see, destruction and violence on a planetary scale, women who exist only to be ogled at, or rescued. Days that seem to last longer than twenty-four hours…

2nd Person: Epic fail. Or better yet, how about biblical fail?

1st Person: Sixteen percent of the Tomatometer Critics over at Rotten Tomatoes have given T4 a positive review. While over at Salon.com, Andrew O’Hehir calls it inflated, interminable and incoherent.

2nd Person: Ouch.

1st Person: What about you, what did you think of T4?

2nd Person: Seriously? T4 rocked! Prime was a total bad ass in this movie! The man made a T-rex Dinobot his bitch and rode him into battle! How cool is that?

1st Person: Hmm…Good point.

2nd Person: Roll out, bitches. Roll out.

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